Girl Talk: Why is it that when we let go of someone we love we feel incomplete? Do we stay incomplete forever?

I think it’s important to remember that we ALL struggle with accepting loss and feeling a little incomplete at times. We have all gone through times when major change and loss disrupted our routines: breakups, heartbreak, having to move, getting sick, losing or changing jobs, and so on. It throws us out of whack and our goals become disrupted. Getting back on track can be super tough, and yes, so can feeling complete again. But it is possible!

Let me say… that coming to the realization that you are already enough within…. without anything external, is a feat in itself. It is indeed more easily said than actualized. BUT… when you realize that fact, and allow others to just add to your shine, peace comes in mysterious ways.

“The peace which surpasses all understanding.”

To allow the truth: “we are all already enough” to come to fruition we have to be active about our happiness and consciousness in some way each day! Loss does have its seemingly negative aspects- leaving a comfort zone, and losing something (or someone) you love, but there’s a brighter side too: it’s the bringing of something new and amazing, a new opportunity to explore and learn and meet new people and reinvent yourself. When change happens, look for the wonder in it, the new doors that have opened.

Ask “what’s the worst-case scenario”? If you’re exposing yourself, getting out of your comfort zone, leaving behind security… that can be scary, but when you think about what is the worst thing that is likely to happen, usually it’s not that bad! If you lost all your possessions today in a disaster, how bad would that be? How would you cope? What opportunities would there be?

Developing some new skills or reworking goals also help us cope with loss and feeling complete again. You can get a new job or start a new business no matter what happens with your current job or the economy. Change is always possible! Learn ways of making friends with strangers, finding your way around a strange city. Take time to explore!!

And most importantly remember the right people in your life will come to YOU and will stay. Often we just have to accept the loss of an idea — the idea of you and a romantic partner, an image of who you are. Be conscious of what’s going on and lean on those who are there for you and allow them to show you a silver lining.

Loss and change in life are inevitable. All we can do is pick up new coping tools and realize that YES you can feel complete and whole again. You have a right to. You deserve it. But … we all have to work for it!

Xo - Brette Sims, STUK Founder