YOUR PRESENCE IS A PRESENT

Everything we do in life will only be as good as we are while we’re doing it

BY: #STUKGIRL STEPH

It’s mind-blowing to think of all the things someone could take from us if they had a mind to. A thief could come take this laptop I’m typing on, the bank can take the house I’m living in. Technically, all this sh*t is up for grabs.

We can boldly declare ownership over whatever we think is ours, but nothing tangible in this world will ever belong to us. Our clothes, homes, jobs… even our families and friends, nothing and no one is ours to keep forever no matter how great the attachment. 

Everything and everybody we have and will ever encounter is merely on loan so their presence can add to our individual life experiences. Humans place emphasis on physical presence because it’s the most obvious way to tell we all exist. So our physical absence, whether its permanent like death or temporary like moving out, can feel like a huge loss. 

And yet, in the grand scheme of things, physical presence is the type of presence that matters least. It’s the most rudimentary level of experiencing our existence.

RECOGNITION

Ever been standing in a room talking to one person while simultaneously standing in a completely different room talking to somebody else? And the moment Person One stops talking so you can respond, you slowly realize you haven’t heard a word they’ve said. 

Like someone sitting across from their partner and yearning to be with their lover, sharing space and time with someone isn’t half as important as how that space and time is being shared.

Sure being physically present is important but it’ll never be enough on its own. If physical presence was a car then mental, emotional and spiritual presence would be its tires, gas and transmission, respectively. And we’ll only go as far as we allow our parts to take us. 

The reason spiritual gurus and life coaches everywhere stress the importance of being in the present moment is because we can’t fully appreciate anything or anyone until we’ve shared moments of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual presence with them. 

True presence is our superpower, it’s the only thing we can own from moment to moment, and in those moments of true presence we’re able to appreciate ourselves, our lives and the people we’ve chosen to share them both with. 

APPRECIATION

After the recent heartbreak of losing a loved one, completely unexpectedly, I had to reexamine my relationship with life and death. Nothing makes a person contemplate mortality like experiencing the loss of life.

We suddenly remember how important it is to tell people we love them, to smile and hug them more often because we don’t know when they’ll no longer be physically present in our lives. 

Almost like how some of us don’t really think too much about our health and taking care of ourselves until our asses wind up in a doctor’s office sick and upset. Or how we don’t think about those late night runs to the kitchen or the drive-thru until our favorite outfit starts getting snug in the waist.  

We have to appreciate our presence and the presence of others all day and everyday, not just when it’s being threatened or taken from us. 

Practicing a little more self-love throughout the day is how we show ourselves how much we matter. Telling someone how much we enjoy their presence in our lives, regardless of how much or little we interact with them, can forge a bond capable of going past the physical boundaries of space and time. 

OWNERSHIP

Everything we do in life will only be as good as we are while we’re doing it, and everyone operates at their best when they’re fully present. And when we become intentional about showing up physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, life starts to get magical on that ass.

But we have to appreciate the miracle of our presence before we ask others to appreciate it - it’s that old adage of not expecting people to love us until we love ourselves. 

So make an effort to enjoy and express gratitude for yourself, as well as the things and people who make you smile. Give your dreams more energy than you give your fears. Treat yourself and others the same way you want to be treated by the world. 

Stop allowing people to benefit from the gift of your presence when they’ve done everything except deserve it and, alternatively, remove yourself from the lives of those whose presence you can’t seem to fully appreciate. 

We’re not promised to anyone, no one has been promised to us, and life is shorter than an all-day marathon of Kris Jenner’s talk show. But there’s plenty of time to be fully present and sometimes, that’s all you need to get started.