HERSTORY with Marya Layth
an insight into the mind of a poetess
From the woman behind ‘Driftwood’: Marya
Interview by: #STUKGIRL Tazeen
1) How are you currently managing work while under quarantine? How is being quarantined affecting your mental health?
At the beginning of this outbreak, I was in a state of nearly constant paranoia. Over the past two years, I have had 6 family members, a very close friend, and even my cat diagnosed with critical health issues and I also had a health scare. The constant onslaught triggered situational hypochondria and it's something I have been slowly "unlearning". Being from not only New Jersey but the most infected county within New Jersey was all very ironic. That being said, I am very pleased to say that I am in a well-adjusted place. I can adjust to a quarantined lifestyle as my new normal, but adjusting to the concern for family and friends falling victim to COVID-19 is not something one simply adjusts to. I'm still working on that.
As far as work goes, I already worked from home as a freelance editor and book cover designer so my day-to-day wasn't a huge adjustment. However, since work has slowed down tremendously I've been able to shift gears, giving me the time to release a short, ebook edition of my poetry collection Driftwood which came out April 10 and has been a #1 New Release in Women's Poetry. That has been a pleasant distraction.
2) What inspired you to build your career as a poetess?
That question is always a challenge to answer. I feel scatterbrained as soon as I am asked because that story begins in so many different places. I could say that I started writing in high school when I would occasionally be asked to write lyrics for some of the local bands. I could also say I first started writing in a grocery store parking lot. Or I could say I accidentally fell into writing and often doubt that I have a career as a writer at all. All of those answers are accurate.
3) What do you love most about the art of poetry?
I love how free, experimental, and unapologetic I can be with both forms. I never feel more expressed than I do when I'm creating.
4) What role has poetry played in your self-love journey?
Who I am off the page and on the page sometimes feel like different parts of the same person. I actually feel very mediocre at expressing myself through normal conversation, including interview questions such as these, but there are a few lines in Driftwood where I write:
"It’s okay to let something be just about you. It’s okay to have a space where you don’t need to say thank you to anyone but yourself. A space where your voice doesn’t compete with other voices."
For me, that space is writing. It is through writing that I feel heard and validated by my own self more than anyone else.
5) Have you ever or do you currently struggle with your mental health?
Here I go again with some shameless referencing to my book. Driftwood is almost entirely about my struggle with mental health as a result of my childhood. It was a struggle I didn't even realize I had. As a teenager and young adult, I had an obsessive need for validation through relationships that included an emotionally and one physically abusive romantic relationship and even some friendships. I never was addicted to any substances but I definitely abused them and used them to cope with how empty and inexplicably worthless I felt. So many people say "Oh, everyone drinks too much or dates the wrong person when they're young" and I would use that mindset to normalize how dysfunctional things had become.
6) How do you prioritize mental health during life’s highs and lows?
Well, I know this isn't a trendy answer, but prayer and complete trust in being loved and created by something bigger than myself has taken me farther than I deserve and has saved me from myself in more ways than I can count. That being said, it is not a replacement for therapy, medication, or professional help. Of course, writing without restraint, only reading books I genuinely enjoy, and relying on the love of family and friends goes a long way, too.
7) What would you teach your younger self about the importance of practicing self-love?
I'm going to, yet again, refer to Driftwood because these lines say it best.
"Perfect is a scary person, but mostly a boring person. Mostly a scam of a person. Like I said, this book is not linear. Trauma is not linear. Healing is not linear. Not healing is not linear. Loving myself despite myself feels like a chore I am getting better at."
I wrote those lines very much to myself, but also for those who needed to hear it. Once I let go of needing to earn and prove my own self-worth, things fell into place. I could just love myself without needing permission. Without being perfect. Without being anything but alive.
8) Is there any woman on social media who inspires you daily?
My relationship with social media leaves much to be desired. Mainly because I don't trust it. There are no shortage of extremely talented, powerful, and thriving women on social media, but I'm not inspired by images people portray. That applies to me too—I am as authentic as I can be on social media but it's still a curated version of myself. I am mainly inspired by the women around me, the women in my real life with their real struggles, and their real, often messy, victories. That being said, there are so many women I have bonded with through social media but those are personal relationships and people who inspire me as a result of one-on-one communication.