Can you forgive yourself?


Can you forgive yourself?


Count the total number of times that you’ve forgiven people, in your entire life.

How many of those people were deserving of your forgiveness?

While you were forgiving all of those, did you ever, for once, grant your own self forgiveness?

We cannot put a number on how many times we’ve said ‘it’s okay’ to an apology. The act requires strength. It requires will to open up the part of your heart that you closed shut. That being said, it is obvious you have the potential to forgive.

However, concern arises when you fail to direct the same kindness towards your own self. Every single one of us have done things we aren’t proud of. A moment’s impulse leads to a lifetime of us beating ourselves up for it.

There must have been moments when you were forgiven by the person you’ve wronged, yet you continued to feel guilty about it. There were probably times when you failed to achieve the goal you set for yourself, consequently, you kept beating yourself up for the rest of the week, month, or even years. We criticize our bodies, and then feel guilty about being so unfair towards it. Then we try to justify why we did it in the first place. It’s an endless loop.

We tend to blame ourselves for things beyond our control, because pinning it down seems a lot easier than lifting it up, and setting it free.

If you really take a moment to reflect, you will remember all the times you’ve been harsh on yourself, and all the unresolved conflicts that you shelter to this day.

You’ve found it in your heart to forgive the people you love. You’ve also, as a matter of fact, forgiven people for whom you don’t necessarily feel such a strong emotion. The question is, how much do you truly love your own self?

Forgiving yourself is one of the bravest, and most important acts of self-love.

Tell yourself, ‘it’s okay’. Have an honest conversation with yourself, and let self-forgiveness be an integral part of it. The sooner you say, and believe ‘I forgive myself’, the sooner you will be able to focus on what lies ahead, rather than letting the weight of guilt pull you down.  

Divert the energy that you spend despising yourself towards learning from the incident. Self-blame produces nothing but negativity. All the efforts you make to drive towards equanimity negate the moment you let guilt take the wheel.

In a world full of people who constantly try to bring you down by accusation and instilling guilt, you are the only who can truly be just towards yourself, and respond by rising through the ranks of self-love.