How I Learned to Love My Natural Hair

‘It's been a liberating feeling to know that my hair is a part of who I am, and I boldly accept it.’

BY: Kimberley Carter Spivey

"I could never wear my hair natural, it looks good on other women, but not me."

"I just don't think wearing my hair natural is for me."

"It's too much work, and I don't have the time to maintain it."

Those were the words I'd spoken for years, and I was adamant that I would never wear my hair natural in my adult years. During the time of my determined pledge to myself, I secretly wondered if it would taint my appearance. Was wearing my hair straight the ideal look that society portrays for women of color to look pretty? Was I worried about what others would think if my hair was worn in its natural state? Was I worried that my hair would look "unkempt" or "unacceptable?" Was I worried that I wouldn't look proper and prim? For years, my thoughts ran rampant.

A lot of us black women are not conditioned to love our kinky curls in society; it just doesn't work like that. There's a stereotypical scope of beauty that once shamed natural hair. Throughout the history of oppression, abuse, and racial discrimination, many black women tend to hide their natural hair. 

And I'll admit, during the time that I've worn my natural hair (in the beginning stage), I was apprehensive about it. So much so, that I didn't wear my natural hair on a job interview. I was afraid of being judged, criticized, and ultimately being discriminated against from getting the job. 

Those are valid fears that swelter around being a black woman. 

As a black woman, I've experienced personal struggles to embrace my natural hair journey. As a young girl attending a predominately white elementary and high school, I thought I was supposed to look like most of my classmates. I thought my hair was supposed to be flowing and straight. Thankfully, I had a loving mother who reminded me that my hair was beautiful just as God intended for it to be. But despite my mother's love and warmth of reaffirming that my hair was beautiful, I still struggled to believe it. 

But this expression of beauty in the African American culture correlates with your identity of who you are—being a black woman. Because to love yourself fully, it requires loving your hair, too. But despite the controversy and being a sensitive topic to discuss for decades, black women are embracing their natural hair more than ever in the twenty-first century. 

We're making a beautiful and bold statement for the world to see. 

Four years ago, the night before my mother's funeral, I relaxed/permed my hair for the last time. I made a choice and vowed to myself that I would embrace and love my hair, just the way it was. If that meant wearing an Afro, kinky or curly, or two-strand twists, that's what I was going to do. Wear my curly hair in all of its kinky, textured, coiled glory.

Though I've worn my natural hair throughout the four years, I've also worn crochet hair, a protective style, A LOT. So, I've decided to renew my vows and wear my natural hair more. It's been a liberating feeling to know that my hair is a part of who I am, and I boldly accept it. 

Here are the reasons why I learned to love my natural hair:

• Natural hair is healthy hair.

• It's beautiful and bold!

• It's versatile and edgy.

• I can wear unique hair. 

• The curls perfectly pop.

• I can inspire other women to wear their natural hair.

• I can break down the barriers to society's standards.

• Sharing hair ideas with fellow naturalists is fun!

• I'm keeping the roots of my culture alive.

What are you learning to love?