Facing Your Fears by LaurenxElle

by Guest Blogger LaurenxElle

“OVERCOMING YOUR FEARS WILL OPEN UP A NEW MINDSET AND ATTITUDE ON LIFE. SUCCUMBING TO YOUR FEARS WILL IMMOBILIZE YOU AND BRING REGRET. “

I BELIEVE LIFE IS ABOUT TAKING RISKS.  WHEN I THINK ABOUT RISKS, I OFTEN THINK OF FEAR. I BELIEVE MOST, OR MAYBE WE ALL, HAVE BEEN TRAINED TO THINK THAT TAKING RISKS COULD BE “SCARY”. I LIKE TO LOOK AT RISKS AS CHALLENGES FOR ME. I’M ALWAYS CURIOUS TO SEE OR KNOW THE OUTCOME. WILL IT GO AS I EXPECTED? DID I EVEN EXPECT ANYTHING AT ALL? F*CK IT. I WON’T KNOW IF I DON’T TRY. 

FACING MY FEARS BECOMING AN ADULT SEEMED TO GET EASIER FOR ME. WITH AGE COMES WISDOM. WHEN WE’RE YOUNG, WE ARE FEARLESS. NOTHING CAN SCARE US. THEN AS WE GET OLDER, WE ENCOUNTER OTHER TYPES OF FEARS BECAUSE OF EXPERIENCES WE’VE HAD. BEING YOUNG AND NAIVE, COMPARED TO MATURE AND AWARE, THERE’S LESS RESPONSIBILITY AND LESS ACCOUNTABILITY. BEING AN ADULT HAVING TO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO, YOU FEAR THINGS IN A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. 

HAVING FAITH IS HOW I CONQUER MY FEARS. IF I’M UNSURE ABOUT SOMETHING BECAUSE I FEAR I MAY NOT SUCCEED, I PRAY ON IT. I CAN’T ALLOW FEAR TO TAKE OVER ME. THERE’S SO MANY THINGS IN LIFE I WANT TO DO AND ACCOMPLISH AND WITH FEAR, I WON’T BE ABLE TO DO IT. HOW ARE YOU EVER SUPPOSED TO LIVE IF YOU ARE AFRAID TO TRY SOMETHING NEW OR ANYTHING AT ALL? APPLYING IT TO CAREERS, RELATIONSHIPS, GOALS AND LIFE IN GENERAL, BECOMES REWARDING.

WHEN I’VE HAD CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE ABOUT TRAVELING SOLO, ONE OF THE FIRST QUESTIONS I’M ALWAYS ASKED IS, “YOU WEREN’T AFRAID TO BE BY YOURSELF?” NO. I WASN’T AFRAID TO BE TRAVELING ALONE. IT’S ACTUALLY REFRESHING, INSIGHTFUL AND FUN. I DO ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS WHEN I WANT, HOWEVER LONG I WANT AND ON MY OWN SCHEDULE. OF COURSE I’VE TRAVELED WITH FRIENDS BEFORE, BUT TRAVELING ALONE IS A DIFFERENT TYPE OF EXPERIENCE. I THINK THAT YOU FACE MULTIPLE FEARS AND GAIN NEW ONES BEING ALONE, IN A FOREIGN PLACE, HAVING TO FIND OUT NEW WAYS TO FIGURE SH*T OUT, IT’S INTERESTING. GETTING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE WILL HAVE YOU LEARNING NEW THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF. 

OVERCOMING YOUR FEARS WILL OPEN UP A NEW MINDSET AND ATTITUDE ON LIFE. SUCCUMBING TO YOUR FEARS WILL IMMOBILIZE YOU AND BRING REGRET. SHOULDA, COULDA, WOULDA WILL STILL BE APART OF YOUR VOCABULARY, YOU’LL BE UNHAPPY AND FEEL LIKE YOU’RE MISSING OUT. WHATEVER YOUR FEAR IS, WHETHER ITS LEARNING HOW TO SWIM, STARTING A BUSINESS, CHANGING CAREER PATHS, YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT! SET SMALL GOALS TO GRADUALLY BUILD TO THE BIGGER GOAL OF FACING YOUR FEAR. REMEMBER TO BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF AND DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU.

-ELLE
 

I've asked some friends their take on "Facing Your Fears" and posted them below. Share an experience on how you faced your fear(s) or what helps you to overcome them.

Do you agree with my thoughts or anyone else's?

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"My idea of facing your fears is first daring yourself to set goals then going after your goals, day in and day out. The fear factor comes with facing the hurdles, knocks and flat-out failures that come along the way. There are points in a lifetime where a person encounters crossroads with fate unknown at the end of every turn, while facing the unknown is inherently fearful. Facing your fears is about having the gut to step to those situations, using wisdom and faith as a guide.

A result of successfully facing your fears is that you encounter new fears, like the proposition of mo money mo problems. As a person grows, typically, new goals take the place of old ones and the same happens with new fears. The challenge is learning to continuously face new fears and set aside the old ones. There are some experiences, like having children, which simply add another set of fears. Those experiences require extra skill and they can make or break a person.

With experience of facing your fears comes the wisdom that you cannot truly have it all, and to virtually have it all usually requires sacrifice. With that wisdom, a component of facing your fears is setting priorities. As new tastes are acquired, so are new goals and new fears. When priorities are set, there is a greater sense of coherence in facing your fears and in life overall, with a lesser sense of being pulled in different directions. Successfully facing your fears also results in confidence to continue to face your fears, and it requires practice."

31
PROPERTY MANAGER
LOS ANGELES
@HANIFSLIM

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"Facing fear to me is placing faith over fear! It is being afraid, but still taking a leap and jumping blindly off the ledge of your comfort zone. A comfort zone is a cozy space, but nothing beautiful ever grows there. When I feel stuck in my fear, I get quiet. I unplug. I detach and I become still enough to hear God speak. I am a strong believer in faith through your inner guidance system. I believe we hold all the answers within.

When you’re still the illusory chatter of fear which stems from the Ego will stop. I also believe in the power of a support system. Sometimes when our mind or internal chatter is drowning in fear... we need someone to help pull us out and lift us up. Whether that support is family, a girl gang tribe, a mentorship program, a support group or a significant other, we must not be afraid to ask for help out of our fear.

There is power in genuine human connection. And when another person or other people believe in us, that external belief can restore our faith! Starve the ego, starve your fear, feed your faith."

BRETTE SIMS
ARTIST & ILLUSTRATOR
California
@BRETTESIMS

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"When I was younger, I remember being a fool. I would moonwalk, speak in made up languages, be silly, be myself. 

At some point that diminished. At some point I let the ideas of others construct my being. Experiences of emotional trauma, being judged, made fun of, things we experience altered my decision making. Ultimately, silencing me completely. For the longest, I wasn’t my true self. The self that took chances and was unafraid of others thoughts.

The finiteness of life really pushed me to realize fear was a factor that I needed to analyze. That’s when I realized, I could live the way I have been living - and achieve no growth or success or I could strive for my goals and possibly get something out of it. No one knows what I want or have to show unless I take action. Success, happiness, love, all the things we want in life won’t just come to us unless we put ourselves in the spaces to welcome it.

Facing fear is to understand that you have fear, and we all have fear, but it’s something to embrace, not run from. Understanding that fear and where it comes from, helps with moving forward. It helps the next time you have fear and how to handle it healthier. Because there’s no big devastation that’s happening, it’s all happening within your mind and nowhere else. Holding onto fear just makes life harder to bear and takes time from you that you’ll never gain back. When you see fear is just like every other feeling with its ebbs and flows, it becomes less frightening. What lies on the other side of your fear is an elation that makes you look back thinking how silly that fear was. So do something you’ve never done, take a trip by yourself, leave your phone off for a day and walk the city. Ask yourself things you never would, be honest with yourself and let that manifest into being honest to others. Learn to tap into yourself.

It took years for me to understand what held me back, and before that that I was even held back. To reverse engineer where the fear stemmed from. I’m still unpacking it and learning to be my true self again. I think that’s something I’ll continue till my last day, but now I look at fear differently, it’s a challenge to be better than I was just yesterday."

KIRSTIN L.
31
COPYWRITER
LOS ANGELES
@AYELLOWDINO

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  “Facing my fears has been me rejecting what others have told me I could not do or obtain because of the lack of uncertainty in themselves, projected on to me. Realizing this has helped me to align myself with my purpose and accepting that my path is solely mine to walk. And in order to make the impact I am destined to, I have set being fearful aside or else I’d be living an unfulfilled life. I learned that I cannot grow in fear. I cannot love unconditionally nor receive true love in fear. I cannot receive my blessings nor appreciate my blessings in fear. I cannot enjoy living my life fully nor walk in my light in fear.  So for me, fear absolutely had to go. I’ve always known that I’m covered through grace and mercy, but being fearless allows me obtain an inconceivable level of peace in my life. Unfortunately, facing my fears caused me to lose certain possessions and people that hindered me. Being fearless means you’ll have to quit that job, you’ll have to let go of that friend, let go of that lover, your money might be a little funny, you’ll be left out, you’ll cry a little more. This part is hard because if you aren’t fully committed to relinquishing fear, it can and will set you back. You’ll question everything and other emotions that are linked to fear like worrying and being anxious, will surface and can revert you right back to living in fear. However, the gains are so much greater. You’ll be at peace, surrounded by authenticity, receive and give love like you’ve never imagined. You’ll glow and grow and whatever you thought you lost, will return 10 fold. I’m not perfect, so facing my fears and maintaining being fearless, is something I have to continuously work through. You’ll have to reflect more, mediated more, stay in a state of continuous prayer, and have a growth mindset. You’ll be tested, but knowing that living in fear can snatch away my peace and limit my possibilities is enough for me to have zero tolerance for it in my life. Life is absolutely beautiful and you cannot conquer life and all of its possibilities until you face your fears.”

ASHLEIGH P.
32
SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHER
CA
@AYEEE_PEEE
 

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 "I consider myself to be effectively facing my fears when I’m deliberately placing myself in situations that are outside of my comfort zone that I know will challenge me to grow in ways that wouldn’t be possible otherwise. 

One fear in particular that I’ve realized I’ve had for a long-time and continue to wrestle with is sharing some of the more controversial aspects of my biblical worldview openly and making myself a target for hostility, slander, and even violence.

I think what feeds that fear at times is realizing how much we’re living in a time of “social lynching”,  via various forms of mass media that have the potential to go global within 24 hours. So the fact that most of what I believe directly opposes most of the main things our contemporary culture advocates, at any point I can say something people consider offensive and immediately be subject to attacks from all over the world that could potentially affect job opportunities and all sorts of other costly outcomes that I may not be able to successfully defend myself against.

But I’d say the things that most heavily influence my approach to facing my fears are :

1. Focusing on the truth of 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV): “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 
2. Praying that God would remind me to humble myself and realize how weak I am without His strength being the energizing source of my courage
3. Being inspired by observing peers and others who are boldly committed to their biblical convictions in spite of those attacks while still being able to enjoy using their gifts on any platform they find themselves on to uplift people regardless of how severe the cultural onslaught becomes

My hope is that in my consistency in chipping away at this fear little by little and overcoming various attacks on a smaller scale, I’ll eventually find myself in a place where I’ve gained the spiritual strength to withstand whatever I’m confronted with and have peace in the midst of the chaos."
 

J.R.
31
WRITER/AUTHOR/DAD
NY
@TRUTHLIVES4EVER
 

 

Source: artnews.com (image)